[[---`*Refreshed*`---]]

Thursday, September 08, 2005

<<<Lemony Jizz>>>

Handicapped w/o a com...I had to stand in long queeues for my print jobs, knock on doors of neighbours,some w/o printers, lab rprt ... research some details yet cldnt save those links under my FAVs!No MSN, out of touch w the world. Even a simple task of checking urgent emails gotta be done in CBLC,under the scrutiny of many pairs of eyes, waiting for you to get off that hot seat.I like to surf net in my room, hands placed on my own com,typing and clicking at my own leisure.

Napped a short while as I waited for sis to return from Interact Club activities. Haha, she followed my footsteps in JC again.Sometimes,Im not sure if Ive influenced her too much.I never wanted her to follow wateva I did.I want both my sis to have minds of their own.Somehow,er-jie often seemed to follow my trails.Well, one definite thg she wont track onto: TEACHING! Im glad for the students...haha...

Mooncake Festival Celebrations at SRC, with blasting music again.Did I catch some traditional music?Watz w goodies bags? They wun have sponsored mooncakes nway.haha..i'll have lotza at home.I know my mum!
Diep informed me of Hoa's harmonica performance at the celebrations but too bad, cldnt join them coz of my rushing.

Rushed to NTUC Fairprice for a hurried grocery top-up!Since I know sis is mugging for her doomed promos, da-jie shd be the kind Maria, to get her some nutritious food and fruits.No mum , so da-jie on standby. Hmm, it is the critical reading wk for her.Well,think she's stressed over Special-Papers,with her integrated programme counterparts, who have freaking brainpower, as she narrated.Plus, the need to maintain her grades for ASEAN scholars.Our parents nvr did pressurize us.Most of the cases, the stress was rather self-inflicted. Wow, wat was I doing in NJ Yr 1? Swallowing Bio notes was the worst torture. YEs, I rmbered my 2 Econs roomates,leaving me in lurch,as they discussed their big and deep Econs theories. *Blinking back the tears* Wanted to get sis her fav Post cereals, but decided I cldnt carry so much stuff in addition to a laptop.

There is in fact no grocery shopping list.I picked as I go. A ready mental check list, so to say.

Fruits replenished.Gonna survive on some fresh salads nxt week.What else was I supposed to get?

My eyes lit up once i caught sight of those yellow ~L~E~M~O~N~S~!!!
Oh yah,how can I 4get my purpose? Suddenly reminded of some acclaimed D.I.Y. hair treatment to soften the hair.(The guninea pig wun be me, of corz).Guys can be equally vain.(Oh oh, im gonna break an arm soon.)Hahaha, but they are entitled to image upkeeping as well.A well-groomed man = a presentable smart lad!(Mum's theory of ironning clothes for Dad)Ok, I havent found someone to iron clothes for.,heehee...

Picked so long that the cashiers were almost closing. Ok la, yellow enuf,big(Law of relativity) and juicy, who cares whether they are acidicly sourish or not!!!Not meant for consumption nway!!!Heck its pH.

Sis called to said shes feeding mosquito at Nanyang Boarding Hostel gates.Ok, on my way. Hailed a cab, off to Linden Drive.

The cabby was sure conversational.Non-stop all the way. P.A.P, E.R.P, H.D.B,and I kinda became a data feeder for NUS activities and my past 15 yrs in Spore as a msian student. He stopped to allow a quick conversation.(actually, it was me nagging on mums behalf)Linden Drive was dark with the few lampposts.Worried abt her safety, I hurried her back to the gates. She actaully saved a box of Post Cereals for da-jie.Not bad.She deserves to be pampered with my chocs!Muackz!RoAR!

On the return journey, uncle cabby indicated that I looked younger than my sis, more like the younger sis instd.Hohohoho, YLF, U HEARD THAT?!!? Ure the one who needs to use more moisturiser,not me! Then it got a bit personal when he asked if I got a bf. Ermm...I merely smiled.And he assumed a yes.Well,uncles can be 38 too.Treat it as a convenient yes then.It doesnt affect me or him.Whats in a status when u can declare married over friendster or when pple mistaken ur pic w ur bro as u being a r/s?

Then,out of curiousity, i asked if he was married with children.Kinda of a safe topic ofr most uncles his age(42), i reasoned.But i was wrong! I hit a raw nerve! He was actually a divorcee, and his tone was cold when he mentioned his ex-wife(He stressed it in such icy tone).So cold, I was certain it wasnt the aircon blowing in my face.He missed his 2 children but gave her their custody.And I beacme a silent listener as to why he ended up leading a cabby life.Silent, coz I wasnt sure how to respond to his emotions,still raw after 6 years of divorce.

Breaking up isnt the most sorrowful parting, he blurted.It may not be even a parting if both parties redefine the new r/s well.He reminisced abt his first gf.And how he let her go,for he knew he was not the one for her and vice versa.I took it as a counselling advice from an elder.Well-meaning for the younger generation.

Divorce is an even sadder case. That u were oblivious to(or ignorantly chose to ignore) to differences b4 marriage, stepped into it, realised there was no way out, and headed for the exit.Good if its a peaceful and graceful exit,but wat abt the children?(I wld say its none of their fault. But was it their faults to be born to parents destined to divorce?)Painful if the doors slammed shut in your face.Nosebled and heartbled.Cabby's limited vocabulary in recalling actual details into figurative words. Willingly or unwillingly,forcefully or forced,divorce is a real tragedy to ur spouse, to urself, and worse, to the innocent children who are denied of an intact family.For a few minutes,I saw the full-fledged impacts of divorce.And I know as a prospective teacher,given the societal trends and transient views on marriage, I will stumble upon more divorce victims in future.Maybe it'll be useful to tk some counselling course for my career enhancement.To help the affected children, to help those I have the fate to teach.

Cabby actually gave me a discount!Rounded off figure to a perfect 10!Haha,on account that we hit off so well. He said I was the 1st passenger whom he confided in abt his divorce.I thanked him for the discount but didnt wish to continue the depressing topic as I closed the car door.I believe in happy endings.I like to paint my fairytales with happily-ever-afters.No divorce.(I belief in sustaining a marriage however tested.But i will reconsider the r/s if im trapped in an abusive state.Otherwise, negotiations and tolerance still hold.)Parents argue, have their disputes but they still talk or trash thgs out.Thats why, for me, open communication or the ability to communicate is a crucial criteria. A marriage expert once remarked: [Dont marry someone who love. Marry someone whom you can communicate with.]

Communication is essential,w/o which human relations collapse. Even in the animal and plant kingdoms, there is no escp from communication.From plant pollination to cross-breeding fertilization,the essence of communication!Even courtship displays are essentially communication of affection b4 attraction ensues.Now u know why GEMS like Professional Communication, Dynamics of Interpersonal Effectiveness,Cross-cultural Communication appeal to me. Mum explains why we are born with 2 ears and a mouth.Yes, use them wisely.I am learning each day.

Sometimes, when u hear tragedies worse than yours,you count ur blessings for having a healthy family,caring siblings and doting parents.Watz my little sufferings,so pale in comparison to others? I am only a drop in the ocean.

Off to blow bubbles in the shower...

Whistles: Ill Be There. ( I know my family will forever be there for me.)

First Time Felt On|2:40 AM|

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